March 3, 2023
Antediluvian Events, Captain’s Log, Past Events and Lives
Entry 10 – Finding God through Cards and the Battery Saga
Alright, Entry 10.
Last Entry before I start going to my notebooks and transferring what I have written to this blog. It will take the pressure off me a bit and stop this blog from becoming such a chore for a little while at least. But I did want to broach the subject of Divinity. And my relationship with this practice. So in this, I will be talking about one of my relationships with some would say the Dark Arts or Black Magic things like that. Unfortunately or fortunately this is the cornerstone of the foundation of what I have practiced. Starting from a very young age. As I have attempted to learn also the side of The Light, I have found an aptitude for both. Surprisingly so, I still do both, for example, my persuasion, seduction, and skills in divinity would be considered Dark or Grey whereas things like positive affirmations or prayer, healing, and protection would be considered Light. I refuse to pigeonhole myself into either category at this point. I do not think it is either good or bad in either sphere. I could go on and have an entry about the various disciplines and my thoughts and practice on each but that is not the place for that. Doing such things can be truly detrimental to one’s self, out of all of the things done healing and divinity have been the most dangerous. And I will also include chakra work as incredibly dangerous as well, especially for the purpose that I use it for endurance and combat. I will touch on healing a bit and then the rest of this entry will be about my relationship with divinity.
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Some small disclaimers before I continue.
This and all my previous journal entries are not to try and teach anyone, gain any monetary gain, or anyone to admire or otherwise feel sorry for me. I apologize if I have ever given that impression although this is the first time that I have expressed how I felt about all of this. It is really and honestly simply for myself and only on the other side of the coin because there is always another side as with all things in life. This is to help others like me, not necessarily people like me because what I seem to be extremely rare, and mostly appears to be women. What I am doing concerning my situation does not seem to have been done before, at least not so publicly. Also for people not like me, I have met with other individuals who have vastly different abilities.
For example, I know that I and my relationship with the weather have something to do with other individuals I have not met. Also, I know my healing and regeneration have been also helped by other individuals I have not met. Because what they can do, is nothing that I can not imagine doing. The amount of times I have been brought back from certain death is uncanny, and I do not know why I kept getting saved and still get saved, when for all my life until this moment I have sought death with every mission and every encounter.
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There are some things I am not going to understand, and never will. But I will continue to try.
Also, I have been posting this to the /r/vampires subreddit and some people have asked for clarification on this. Well quite simply the idea that we have about vampires or wamphyri in the media and books, is not true or understood. No, I do not think that I am a vampire/wamphyri, but it does get people interested. I think I am something else and I do not know what that is, but that is like calling a human a monkey. They are kind of the same thing, but they are not. It is sort of like that. It is simply the easiest thing for people to relate to. And also the things that I have experienced seem to share a lot of the same traits of what every culture studied on every landmass of Gaia calls a vampire, jinn, demon, angel, or whatever you want to call it. I think of a portrait an old girlfriend drew of me one time and she painted me as a half angel and half demon and told me that was me. I think there is some truth to that to be told. Again, people have seen and seen things in me that I have not noticed or did not want to notice until I was confronted with it in the face this past year or so. For that, I am eternally grateful.
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No, I am not mentally ill, at least not that much. When all this started a year ago, now going on two years ago I had an entire team of psychologists and therapists. I did not tell them everything but I told them enough. At the end of it I even plead with them to test me for schizophrenia, anything, everything, just fix this. But in the end, they all got a bit flustered at me asking this and they all were in a sort of panic looking back, to be honest. In the end, the head doctor at the place I was and said that and I quote when I was pleading with him to test me for schizophrenia.
“No I am not going to test you for schizophrenia Cary, you are not schizophrenic!”
“Well, then what is wrong with me??!”
He sighed, regarded me then said.
“You are highly intelligent with fantastical thinking.”
And that was that. Not only that. I also at the same time started to develop a critical allergy or reaction to all antipsychotics and antidepressants. I started to show signs of tachycardia dyskinesia, also known as uncontrollable muscle movements. I was jaw-jacking to the point of jaw fractures at this point. And was taken off all those medicines immediately, this was a year and a half ago. I was told if I continued taking them, the movements could become permanent. Truth be said in the years I tried to take them, they never worked. I tried taking them again 6 months ago just to see, and the same thing happened. Last mental health assessment I took I was diagnosed as having mild anxiety. Something I think almost everyone gets from time to time. And truth be told, and I have said this before. Life would be a lot easier if I was mentally ill. I have even gone to the hospital and tried to act crazy by telling them some of my experiences, so I could get a place to sleep and shower to no avail. They promptly kicked me out after the mandatory three-day hold every time. So yea, I am quite sane most of the time when my life is going well. I think this is a case that if the apple of knowledge is poison then I have been able to make a pie if you know what I mean.
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To tell you the truth I never really believed in all this stuff until the last 2 years when I had to come to terms with it. In my last journal entry, I tell the story of when the DIA cop told me to consider the fact that Imay is more than human. That was the real turning point although surprisingly I didn’t even choose to push my chips all in at that point. I still fought it thinking that people were just trying to screw with my mind. Sometimes that does happen I admit. But when things happen when I am by myself and with no chance or obvious intervention by others it got me over the fence so to speak with all this occult, magic, and paranormal stuff.
It was not until the end of my 90-day stint in LA county that I realized that I had to accept this idea of a higher power, God, Gaia. All of it was happening and it is not going to stop. So I might as well get on the train before it ran me over. I know now that I will never have what people call a normal life ever again. I have been put into positions that have now made that impossible. As the veil has been drawn back and since I have survived that, I can never be asleep or veiled once again. I lament at that, thinking that I could go back to something resembling normalcy. Go back to the 2.5 kids McMansion and 9-5 office job. Maybe some of those things will come back but not all. I have to accept that. And also recognize that all over Gaia we all used to have a more spiritual relationship with all of these things. The native Americans and Africans saw the elements and nature and what we observed as Gods and I do as well. It was less than 4000 years ago we lived, raised children, and thrived without clothes or shelter. How? Now I have some ideas about how. Instinct. And things we cannot explain which kept us going. I am not at the top of the food chain, none of us are. And as we see in the news and media. They are preparing us to see these UFOs and strange happenings. We know these government programs exist for psychics and astral projection. I have been experimented on I am sure, as have others. It is real and has been documented. By our government not to mention by things, not of Gaia, the pale blue dot picture taken by Voyager says it all. The planet has a huge blue target on its forehead from billions of miles away, beckoning anything to come and see. How could we not think otherwise?
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With that I will go into my experience with the cards, finding God, and Divinity.
So to start let me talk about me starting my learning about the occult. At the start of all this as a child, I was taught the foundations and the cornerstones of various forms of what we call the occult or the magical arts, otherwise thought of as witchcraft or sorcery. Analysis of my DNA shows links to the Dogan and Pygmy tribes. Salem witches, and links to the French royal families and the Pharaohs. I will try to find this and submit it to this blog this weekend for evidence.
But to get back to the topic without getting too deep into everything. I was taught meditation, martial arts Wing Chun to be specific, various martial weapons training, horseback riding, and a variety of disciplines of academics. I was the kid that was made to carry jars of water or sand with my fingertips up and down the stairs. Later in my life, all of these things would come in handy, for reasons that I will avoid speaking about for the length of however long this blog goes. Use your imagination. But among the many subjects taught to me was Divination.
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Anyone who remembers me back through my K-12 years in Raleigh, NC. JY Joyner elementary, Carnage and Carroll Middle School, and William G Enloe middle school. I was the resident fortune teller. Back then it was all palm reading and numerology readings. And I was always shockingly accurate, most of the time. I never attempted card work. Because deep down I saw them as parlor tricks. I knew these people at some level. It was not until recently I started doing it with strangers on the street for well-needed money and getting their reactions that it started to get a lot more serious. It is to the point now, where people are wary of me even doing it because individuals have been known to get scared. And also the cards have the potential to tell you a huge lie. Being a Jester and trickster myself, I suppose helps whatever spiritual connection to the cards I have. But it was not until last year that I left back into this entire weirdness. Not out of curiosity but simply desperation to live and get the hell out of Denver. In the past, I have made pacts with certain forces before and gotten out of all of those bargains with a clean slate I so thought. So I was not going to go into that world again, not after I made it out with my sanity and my life. That was when I was 18. So it took 20 more years for me to get involved in it again, I don’t care, it was life and death. Little do I know that was most likely the very thing that people were expecting and changed everything forever.
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I was on the RTD train going to Colfax. I was attempting to walk to the east, and see where it brought me. I was starving, had several fights, and was critically injured. My car was stolen, and I got a pack of playing cards from somewhere, I don’t remember where I got them from or where I picked them up. But I did, I knew I had to get out of Denver, I did not know where to go, or what to do next, I just almost died from lack of water a dozen plus times that week. My high hemoglobin count along with my energy out and not enough energy in was becoming problematic. I have been starved of all relationships, so I could not even get energy from other females at this point. Desperation was setting in. A female I was afraid to approach was looking at me on the train, regarding me. I was trying to stop the thought of The Beast drawing me to her, the last time I laid with a woman the energy was bad, and even though the boost was short-lived it crippled me afterward. I was being cautious. I would accept no females, I also was still on my death watch, and the lack of water and food was mostly by choice. But somehow I could not quell the instinct, otherwise known as The Beast in my head. It kept on pestering me to live, to keep going, to do something, anything else besides lay down and die. To this day, this is something that I could never fight no matter how much I try to stop it. When worse comes to worst, it always wins no matter what. And that is what scares me. As I am on the train, hunched over from pure exhaustion and all my reserves being spent, close to death as I frequently was, this was not a feeling I was in a situation that became familiar. Somewhat of a nice friend, a companion, Death, and the Elements became my only friends in all this, at the time I believed it a fruitless quest to be united with the children I had with my ex-wife. All my other children had been taken from me, or I was too involved in myself to care. Those children, the only things I felt I did right and purely. Snatched from me and used as cannon fodder. My only weakness, used to its full advantage by Claire, she told me long ago when we first met that she would take them from me as had all the other women. I did not believe her, as I should have, maybe I did, I just thought that she would be easily defeated as all my enemies had been. Not in this case, she was constantly putting me in check on the chessboard despite me still having many pieces on the board I refused to use. And this was indeed one of those times I was put into check, a step before checkmate.
Yet like all of those times. The Beast took over and got me out of checkmate, and put me in the position for many more moves. False checkmate to draw in my enemies beyond my battle lines. Then collapse on them. The collapse technique. My favorite and trademark one. After they are in, my pieces on the board collapse to overwhelm the enemy. They pretend to retreat then the enemy has no escape. But these days my allies wondered about me because now I was waiting until things look lost to draw them back for assistance. The thoughts on my wish for Death were not all untrue. And I had refused all assistance at this point. Needless to say, I am confident in my abilities, mental state, and ability to produce results for the first time in my life. Was in question, for good reason. Also, there was a fair amount of pride at stake here. I wanted to show that I could do this mostly solo, to the chagrin of most. So I could not get assistance when I asked for it. Be careful what you wish for, and pride does come before the fall and I had wanted to fall countless times. But one pesky thing kept happening over and over again…
The Beast took over.
Now on autopilot, my vision started the K Hole. Everything else goes fuzzy, and my body goes into instinct meditation. If you have ever seen the scene of the Robocop movie where the visor goes down and he is no longer in total control of his actions he just has the illusion of control in combat, allowing him to do things that should not be possible.
It is almost exactly that. My visor comes down. And something takes over, the thing I call The Beast. The visor comes down, and I have the illusion of control but the Beast is in control, I am just a passenger.
I am sitting there and my head snaps up and I look at the woman sitting adjacent to me. Her eyes light up, thinking I am going to make my move.
I said almost because you see, the Beast wants to think he can control you, that you have no free will. But you do. I was convinced in the United States that I am not just a product of my base instinct as so many others had said about me. I was going to show them that I was different from all the rest that were rotting in correctional institutions across the world.
Instead of speaking to her. I pull the deck of playing cards out of my pocket, Joker’s included. I pull them out of my pocket and she is still looking at me in curiosity. I start to shuffle the cards.
You see, my car just got stolen and I needed a battery. And I had no money to get one at this point. Also, I did not know where to go once I did get a battery. I did not know where to go, and nobody called for help, per my choice. I was desperate all of the sudden to live. By the way, damn you State Farm for losing my car and then not paying me for it even though it was insured. Ok moving on!
I shuffle wildly. Cards pop out. Cards that fall I use that number to cut. A lot of cards I catch before they hit the ground. My alacrity was all of a sudden at an all-time high. She is still looking at me with abject amusement. I go on like this. No rhyme or reason, no idea what I am doing. All I know is that something is telling me that this is important. Keep going. I shuffle, then cut, shuffle then cut, pick up, cut, shuffle, cut, for maybe five minutes. After I am done I disembark the train at Colfax, not paying the chick any mind to her disappointment. I get off at Colfax station.
I draw a card, look at the number or type, then draw that amount, and cut the deck. Then I do my usual drawing. Three. Before this, I put the next thoughts in my mind into the cards. Pleading for anything.
Please, whatever is out there.
I remember thinking.
This is all I have left, using cheap fantasy and parlor tricks to figure out what and the hell to go next. I know I have to leave but where and the hell should I go? I don’t believe in this stuff but at this point. Falling back to old habits is all I got. Cards..where is my new Queen and where is my new family? Are they in this direction? I am sure I am facing the East, back home to North Carolina. Are they to the East? Is that my redemption?
I drew three cards. It is a King of Hearts, a Queen of Hearts, and a 4 of Hearts.
My heart stops. I am still disbelieving but hey. I do not have anything else to go on. Does this mean something? I know humanoids will find patterns in everything, like watching the static on a TV screen, representing the cooling of the universe from the Big Bang. Even if there is nothing there, it is just the way we are wired. My mind is telling me this is more nonsense. But I have no choice. I start walking.
It is dark. I past all manner of people trying to get my attention. I ignore them. I am walking. I planned on trying to hitchhike out of the state, to North Carolina. I just need to make it far enough, to get a sign. I made it to a gas station. And my comrades are there. They make it known that they provided all of the cover needed to do what we need to do, get the money, and get out of town. Now is the time to strike. Charges be damned, we will extract you out of the country. Everything is in place. But I leave. I need to keep walking.
The sun is up by now.
Wait…are those mountains???
Dammit!! The cards told me to walk West?! Nothing I know is in the West!! California? What? Why?!? But I am still trusting the cards, but I am starting to think they are tricking me, not sure if this is all fake or not.
So I decided to test the cards some more. Instead, I start walking back to the East, back into town. Angry at the Divination, thinking that there is no way this is right but I am going to keep testing all this. I need more evidence! I am still trying to apply science to this.
So I start doing more cuts and draws. All of three. One for direction according to suit. Numbers to tell me how many blocks to go to the North South East or West. I am going through these neighborhoods. Like always, there is never anyone else around me now. Everywhere I go just turns the entire city into a ghost town. It is uncanny. I don’t know where I am going. I am blindly following the cards. Putting everything into this, not knowing what else to do.
Where do the cards take me?
To a Dollar Tree parking lot.
Huh? Is that a crashed sedan? And the guy is standing there next to the car. He looks familiar, a shadow of myself I now know.
But I know that there is a battery in the vehicle. My mind thinks that hey, maybe I can get him to give it to me. Or maybe I can get it out if he leaves. But I have no tools and at this time I was not trying to steal. I did not steal until I got to California. Just because I was trying to prove that I could do this all without stealing or using subterfuge. I was trying to show them I was a good person and that I could do things the right way. I soon learned that when it was life or death, soon morals and the law of the land will go by the wayside.
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Anyway, I walk up and we start to talk.
“Hey man!! What happened?!”
“Ah, my girl wrecked the car, and we got it here to this parking lot. The damn thing won’t start now though.”
I am looking at the front end and it is pretty badly damaged. I am doubtful that it will drive straight, whatever my mind is on the battery that he has, and it is not leaking fluids or anything so I am thinking, eh, maybe. He got it to the parking spot after all…
“Why won’t it start??”
“Well it is the battery, I am pretty sure that it is dead. All it needs is a charge. But I got a guy down the street who is going to get me a new one. So yea, that is what I am going to do.”
My heart starts to flutter in my chest. Bingo!! What are the odds!!
“What!! Really! Hey dude…I need a battery, something fierce.”
I explain how my car got stolen and they also took my battery out of the car, but it was in the Denver impound lot at the moment so if I get a battery I should be able to drive it out and give it a jump at the impound lot because I needed to get the hell out of town.
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“I hate to take it from you though…”. I continued ago, “I know that you probably need the core charge for this old battery…” I trailed off saying. I also spotted his sleeping bag in the bushes along with some drug paraphernalia on the way to him. I am sure he needed the money and I was going to get shut down but I was desperate. After all, my Dad taught me to get 1000 No’s before I was able to get a Yes. If I was anything I have always been damn persistent in anything I do. Almost to a fault.
“Hell!! I don’t give a fuck about no damn core charge!! Well, I am going to get going. If you can get the damn thing out. The battery is yours.”
I jump up and down and thank the hell out of him. Not really but you get the idea. I am grateful as hell and I have forgotten all about the damn cards at this point.
Here is something suspicious as well that keeps happening and continues to happen everywhere I go. People bring their kids around me and they watch me when I am doing non-dangerous work. I don’t know what the hell it is or what it is about. But it has been happening over and over again. If you don’t realize something about me I have a soft spot for children. I do everything I can to protect kids, and I am proud to say I have saved many kids from bad situations such as abuse or human trafficking from Denver to San Bernardino. It is just my thing. I don’t know how these people find out because I don’t advertise my services for apparent reasons, but yea, this has been happening more and more where I have an audience just watching me do my thing. At first, it was bizarre, but now I am just used to people just watching me in interest. This time is no different. That reminds me of when I was sitting in front of the cannon at the Santa Monica pier when a young child with her family came up to me and tried to give me her blanket. I smiled at the child and the parent encouraged her to say hello to me. The little girl waved at me and said hello and I returned the favor. I do not know why this always happens and how children always sense that I am safe and the parents are trusting as well. Children often possess things that we lose as adults. That was probably the only real smile that I have had in the past 5 months, to be honest. And it was much needed.
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Anyway, yea now I have an audience of two. I look over. They sit on their porch. The guy walks off to God knows where. Also, the ladies inside the Dollar Tree are coming out momentarily to watch me when I am working to try to get this battery out. Trying not to be very obvious. It is hilarious to watch people who are not trained to do surveillance. But I understand the curiosity. I am sure I was being observed yesterday as well, but I can tell, the individuals in California are extremely well-trained. I even felt comfortable enough to put my headphones in and listen to music on public transport yesterday. Something I never do usually I feel so at ease. Good job, you guys can learn. Much better than the circus I witnessed in Colorado.
Anyway, the guy is in the distance now. I watch as he leaves and regard my situation.
OK. This hood is crushed in from whatever they hit. And I have a 7/11 cup half full of soda water and a pocket full of change. As a mechanic and an RF engineer, immediately my mind started to think how and the hell am I going to get this damn battery out of the car with no damn tools.
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I walk up to the Dollar Tree, to see if I can buy a wrench or anything. Damn. Closed.
Wanting to get the battery out before this guy came back and changed his mind. I did not feel like waiting. I take a look around the area for anything I can use. Hmm. Bingo!!!
There are some pliers in the bushes a brand-new pair of channel locks! Score!! Lucky!
I always tell people my real superpower is luck, after all, damn all of the vampire stuff, I am the luckiest guy I know. Sometimes I do not know if it is people helping me out, or this entire higher power thing but hey. Luck is luck, no matter where it comes from. I don’t know how it works, it just does. I know that you are not going to understand everything that happens in this life. And lately, I have had no time to even worry about the how or the mechanism of action. I just roll with it and take what I can and usually, it is either boom or bust. And even when I bust something good happens out of it as a consequence.
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I go back to the car. Alright, how the hell and I going to get this hood up? Is the car open? Maybe I can just pop the hood open but I am doubtful. Let us try to lift it first. I think to myself. Because I currently have no clearance to get the battery out but I can see the battery, the hood is jacked from the impact. I have the fleeting thought again on how the hell this random dude thought he was just going to drive this car out of here in this condition. And how the hell did the cards bring me here?? But I quickly pushed this idea out of my mind, because I still had time to make it to the impound lot by the end of the day and get the hell out of dodge or at least start to get out of town if I can get this battery in the vehicle I own in the impound lot.
I try to pull the hood up. No dice. The car is open, thanks Lady Luck. I look around the car and spot a double A battery, some flat phone wire, and no pieces of wood or anything to pry this hood open. Damn. I start to search the car, and it is obvious that they were living in this thing. Eh, I was living in my car at the time so I can relate. Ahh, what is this? I found a steering wheel lock. The Club is what they call it. This should work! I get the club and start to work on the hood, I shimmy the bar under the hood and try to pop it. It is not budging. I am trying my best, and then like all other times in my life when I feel desperate, I found strength somewhere that I didn’t know existed because I was bouncing my full body weight on this thing with no results at 200 pounds. I am straining on the bar and all of a sudden I feel a sudden surge of strength flow through my limbs and I strain, audibly groaning out a war cry and starting low and getting louder in pitch.
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POP!!
“HAHAHA MONKEY POWER BABY!!” I scream to the heavens in victory. One of my catchphrases.
But I have to urinate now. I look across the way about 70 feet away. The little girl and the parent are still sitting on the porch regarding me, just observing. I pretend I do not see her and I yell out loud “Bathroom break!!” And go for a piss in some bushes out of sight. I come back with my channel locks safely stashed in my pocket. Now thinking that I was home free. I take out the pliers and I get to work on the bolts holding the battery.
Oh no. As I am trying and starting to strip the bolts. Panic begins to boil in my veins. Dammit. What do I do?? The bolts are visibly corroded, no way these are coming off like this. I look around, thinking that I got to science the shit out of this. I see a chip bag, the wire, I look at my cup of soda water sitting on the ground half full. And it hits me as the battery comes into my vision scanning the ground.
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Electrostatic charge. I can use it to break the bonds of the corrosion.
I get the chip bag. Empty the crumbs also I found a paper clip on the ground. I use the pliers to strip the wire to the copper so that I have a strand of copper. Wrap the ends around the metal and to the positive and negative of the battery and clamp it using the paper clip. I hope the hell the battery still has a charge, at least a little. My answer is when the copper wire starts to shock my fingers. Yes!! We have ignition!! The wire is hot! I wrap the other ends around the corroded terminals stopping now and then because I keep getting hit with electricity now and then. This may work…I think, I just need time I am thinking. I position the bag and put the battery in the bag and fill the bag, using my precious water in the process. I leave it, regarding my work, thinking there is no reason that this should not work.
I go into the now-open Dollar Tree, the place is trashed. Nothing of value, I browse for 30 minutes or so and leave, I wanted to find a radio to no avail. I also put soda water on the terminals for good measure as well to make the copper stick and maybe the CO2 would help as well.
I get to work.
Then I clamp, then attempt to turn. Nothing…nothing….success!! One terminal turns freely, it is off, and the other one comes off the first time with no pressure. I reach in and rip the battery out.
Monkey power for the win. I have the battery! But this thing is a monster, it is a flooded battery, expensive. At least 40 pounds. And I got to get it to the impound lot by public transportation.
It must have been a sight as I lugged this thing by walking all across town. As I was in great shape it was doable and I would shift it from shoulder, on top of my head, to the side, and prone. All the while I did the 2-hour trek back to the impound lot on foot.
I get there. And they ended up still not giving me my car. Even though I signed it over to insurance and State Farm called them. Because I did not have my insurance card, it was in the car. After that, I was in disarray. A lot of things happened. I will go over it at a later date. As I want to keep some things under wraps regarding that. But the gist of it was that I was dejected. I ended up telling a random fortune, he was shocked at the outcome. And afterward, I checked the cards to see how they were placed. It was uncanny. The numbers were going sequential all in the same suit. 2, 3, 4. 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, J, Q, K, all of the hearts. I had shuffled and cut this deck maybe 30 times at this point. This was impossible. Out of all the combinations that cards can have, after I did this fortune telling and checked the cards this was the combination?? Mathematicians know that the card combination of a shuffle can contain more randomness than observable stars. I showed the guy and another fellow that was there what happened. One guy started crying and ran off. I told them, “I think I just proved that God exists…”. I was in shock. What does this mean? What does this matter? Everything that happened that day I finally had a mental and emotional crash. I left the battery and the channel locks at the impound lock, abandoning that idea, thinking that life had no meaning. And I wandered around and went to the library close by at Valdez liquor store, got a bottle, and found some bushes to go to sleep. Later that day I had my first parade experience with the people of Denver. But that is a story for another day.
When I arrived in Vegas and some people in Denver I made money by doing fortune telling with the cards. I made quite a good amount of money. I also have an unopened deck of cards in my backpack now. When I get more established I would like it set up doing fortune telling. For some reason, the cards said that my redemption was in the West. Now I am here in California even though I fought so hard to go to Boston or New Jersey or NYC. And I am here to stay. The cards brought me to the battery but also took me away from the car putting me into shock. All because they were going to let me have my car anyway. Good thing too because I was told that my car had been tampered with making it unsafe to drive and there would surely have been an accident if I chose to drive it out. It was not until 2 months ago sitting in jail that I finally surrendered to whatever this Divine thing is and higher power and see where it would take me. And decided to start writing about all of these things that happened for the world to see,
Now that is it. The remainder of these journal entries, until I come up to the present time only, will be from the past and things that I wrote down that happened in Denver and California. I will start with my thoughts of the Divine and then go in a semi-random order of events leading me up to now. I already covered a bit of it. But there is a lot more to tell. People said that I should start to write a book about all this stuff. As I do not feel the need to make money out of it, as I want to help other people trying to understand what may be going on with their life. Also, it is very interesting stuff.
And do not get it twisted. None of this is fiction. All that I write about is true and happened. I leave a lot of things out for reasons, legal and otherwise and there are some things I do not need to say, so a lot of this is sanitized. Stay tuned for The Infernal & Divine by Michael – Entry #1.
I don’t know how this all works.
It just does.
Stay tuned.
-Cary Michael Grant
AKA Quis
AKA GUI